The INdependent

   Any military wife knows the Murphy's Law of your husband being gone. As soon as he's gone for more then 24 hours the kids get sick, the car breaks, the house falls apart, or all at the same time. It's just the way it is. Nothing seems to line up when he's home. Today I got a call from a friend (Heather) who I haven't talked to in a long time. I told her that I was on my way out the door to the BX because the handle fell off the downstairs toilet and it wouldn't stop running. She asked what I was going to do about it. I said fix it? When she asked had I ever fixed a toilet before I said no but I am sure it's not rocket science and I could figure it out. Then she said what only someone who hasn't spent any time in the military would say "Why don't you wait till Steve gets home to do it." You see Heather has been married to John for three years in those years he has been away probably a grand total of 2 weeks. She's use to being able to wait for him to fix it. I laughed and told her  that if I waited for Steve to do everything nothing would ever get done around here. I know we've been extremely lucky in the "my husbands gone" department. He hasn't deployed YET...but it's coming I have a feeling sooner then I would like but I know it's coming. However when he is here it's not like he's always home at night. His job has him gone at least one overnight a week and about 4 nights every two weeks. It's just how the cards have been falling. When he is home I try to use him for big jobs that I can't do with Grace around. So when something small happens and I am pretty sure I can fix myself I do. It's just part of being a military wife. They call us dependents, but I think we all know the truth we are all INdependent. We can't always count on our husband being home on the weekend to cut the grass or pick up the dog poop (COUGH COUGH STEVE!!!) or wait on them to change those lightbulbs to high to reach without a ladder. Now someone might ask but Katie you live on base why didn't you just call the housing office? I did and they wouldn't be able to come for the toilet till friday, because it's PCS season and it was considered a non emergency. I was not about to listen to that running toilet for 3 days! I figured that I would just pay the 5 dollars out of pocket for a new handle. I took apart the old one and put the new one back the same way and VIOLA fixed toilet. I know I know it's not that big of a deal, but it was for me. I was able to figure it out all by myself and fix it without bothering anyone else. As I said before it's just what we have to do. We can't afford to wait around or nothing would get done. We learn to do it ourselves and if we can't we lean on each other to get it done. I love being an Independent dependent I wouldn't have it any other way.

Parenting Styles

      Let's face it we all have one and NO TWO are alike. In the 15 years that I have been around/working with infants and young children I have been exposed to MANY different parenting styles. Some I have shaken my head at and others I have picked apart to make my own. As a nanny you are paid to help raise that child in the style that their parents wish them to be raised weather you agree with it or not. I have been extremely lucky and the parents that I have worked with are not crazy. While there was this one mother who was a little extreme, but I only watched her little girl for a week. ANYWAYS, my point is that when someone offers me advice I do truly take it into consideration, because I have witnessed how things that I would never thought would work make miracles happen. However, I draw the line at judging! If you want to tell me how you raised your child that's fine I will listen I may even steal something form your veteran mom experience BUT if you want to tell me that how I am raising MY child is wrong you can save your breath or in this cause your energy in typing because I don't want to hear/read it!
     A while back I posted a video of Grace's first taste of solid foods. She was exactly 4 1/2 months old. That night I got a private message from a Facebook "friend" who told me how I was just asking for health issues with Grace. How I started her too young on solids and that she will end up with Leaking Gut. Well lady I am sorry you feel that way, but the last time I checked you did not have MD and my doctor does. I think I will take my medical advice from her Thank You. A couple days ago I posted a picture of Grace with her grow with me sippy cup. Something that we are working on. I don't expect her to actually be able to use it but I have learned though my experience that introducing the sippy cup early on makes an easier transition later. If anyone is interested it's water in the cup nothing else. That afternoon I got another private message from that same "friend" about how I was hindering Grace's learning. I had ignored the first message, but this one I could not. So here was my reply.....


Hey I am going to try and not be too rude here, but your really crossing a line. There are a lot of things that I have seen on your Facebook with your children that I just think are plain dumb. Did you get a message from me judging your parenting?? I didn't think so, but since you feel the need to share let me enlighten you on my views. One your 3 year is still in diapers. You haven't started to potty from what I can tell. Are you kidding me? If your child can tell you that they went to the potty you should at least being trying to train them to use a restroom. Two said 3 year is still breastfeeding?? There's no way your telling me those teeth aren't a bitch to deal with! Three you complain about your sex life while here's a thought how about you try moving your kids out of the bedroom??? I understand the youngest having an issue but why is your 7 year old still sleeping in your bed!! So before you start telling other people that YOU don't agree with how they are raising their child maybe you should take into consideration that the way YOUR doing it doesn't appeal to others! By the way you can mark this as the end of our conversations. I don't have time for your judgements I have a beautiful HEALTHY baby girl to raise Thank YOU!


      I just don't get where some people come off thinking they have the right to tell others how to raise their kids. As I said before advice is one thing, but judging you can keep to yourself!!

Mother's Day

   I started off my Mother's Day in true new mommy form Grace apparently decided that sleep was HIGHLY overrated and wanted to stay up. She had fallen asleep at around 9:30 as she normally does but by 11 she was wide awake. I thought maybe she just hungry which she was, but that didn't make her want to sleep. We stayed up playing for a little while but around 12:30 I was exhausted. Steve recently came home with a head cold that he felt I should share with him so I was dying to just lay down. After reading a couple of stories Grace finally started to drift off. I laid her down in her crib and just as I was crawling into my warm bed she rolled to her stomach startled herself and woke up crying. I tried a couple of times to get her back to sleep but eventually gave up went down stairs and laid with her on the couch. Somewhere after 1:30 the both of us drifted off to sleep, but it didn't last long because at 2:45 she was up again. GREAT! Back upstairs we went and read a couple more stories, ate another 5 ounces of food, and FINALLY at 4 am she drifted off from pure exhaustion. I quickly followed.
       I woke shocked to find out that it was not only 9:50, but that Grace had not woken me up. I hit the button on the monitor to find out that she wasn't in her crib. So I went downstairs where I found her and her daddy happily playing on the floor. It was sooooo nice to be able to sleep in a little. Then Steve told me that he forgot a part of my gift and had to run out really quick. So I said Ok and took Gracie Bell upstairs to get ready for the day. After showering and bathing little one I could hear Steve bumping around down stairs so I decided to give him a little more time to do whatever it was he was doing. After about 20 minutes Grace and I went downstairs where I was welcomed with the lovely smell of COFFEE! Set up on the counter was an Espresso machine and all the fixings! I swear I almost went though the ROOF. I love LOVE I mean REALLY REALLY LOVE me a Latte! LOL. Then it was time for Gracie's gift. She got me a St. Anne medal (The patron saint of mothers and housewives) with the words GOD BLESS MY MOMMY GCB (Jenn M. I didn't realize until that moment that she shared those initials with GCB the show! LOL So at first I read it as MY MOMMY Good Christian B*&%H thought you'd get a kick out of that!) which of course made me cry. I put it on and it has not/will not come off unless it's an accident. Then it was time for church.
        Let me tell you it was soooo weird being a mom in church on mother's day. I've always been there when they do the mommy prayer but I am not going to lie I almost didn't stand up. It didn't hit me that I was mom too lol. After mass we went to Carino's an Italian grill that I have been dying to try. It had great chicken parmesan! Grace and I basically passed out on the couch when we got home watching Leap Year and slept for two hours which is so not like her at all, but since she only slept like 5 hours the night before I guess that makes since. For Dinner we went to BWW because I wanted a chicken wrap and I didn't want to cook. Not to mention the only thing Steve can cook without help is spaghetti and we had that for lunch. Then we came home and just hung out and I made my third latte for the day lol. It was sooo good! I don't think I could have asked for a better way to spend my first mother's day. I got to spend it with the most important people in my life my hubby and my baby girl! I could not ask for a better role in life then that of MOM!
   

FAIL!!!

   So presidents day weekend Steve and I went dining room table hunting. We ended up at the only Macy's here in Colorado Springs. I was unaware that Macy's sold furniture and to be honest I was quite impressed. We ended up finding not only a dinning room set that we liked but we also found a sideboard and a couch that we loved. The sales lady Alicia was amazing. She was also a military spouse so she understood my hesitation is purchasing new furniture when I know that we have  a ton of moves a head of us. She told us to go home think about it. Steve and I had basically made up our mind by the time we got to the car, but I still wanted to sleep on it. Let's face $3000 is a lot to drop in one weekend. The next day we returned and made our purchase. Unfortunately EVERYTHING we wanted was on back order. Our couch would not be available till the first week of march and the dining set till April. I figured what the heck we really like it whats a couple months wait.
    A couple weeks later I got a call that our couch was available for delivery. We sent up for saturday March 10th so Steve would be home. The delivery guys called that afternoon around 4:30 said they were on their way and within 30 mins the couch was step up in house. The guys were professional and friendly and the experience was great. So great that I actually called Macy's that week and bragged about impressed I was their service. Little did I know that I would be eating my words 2 months later. Around April 14th I got the e-mail that our dining set was available for delivery. This time they only had a Thursday (April 26th) open and since I didn't want to wait till May to get it I went ahead and booked. It was about here when things went to HELL.
      Thursday April 26th I got up at 8 am with Grace and got ready. They had called and told me that our table would here between the hours of 11-1. So I wanted to make sure that I didn't get into my normal lazy morning routine and stay in jammies until one. Around 11: 25 I got a call from a driver that I could barely understand telling me they were on their way. As I usually do I informed them that we live on an Air Force base, even though that was already marked in the Macy's records. They said no problem see you in 20 minutes. One hour later I get a call from a different guy saying that they were going to have to reschedule  because either him nor his partner could get on base. They both had some issue with their license. Ok fine, I understand that sometimes living on a military installation can cause hiccups in usual everyday affairs. That night I get a call from a costumer service  representative wanting to set up a new delivery time because the base was not allowing deliveries that day. Literally the conversation went like this...

"Mrs. Bostwick, You base was not allowing deliveries today so we are calling to set up a new time."
"What? That's not what your drive said at all. He said that they couldn't get on base because of issues with their identification."
"No Ma'ma that's not what we were told."
"I don't care what you were told I am telling you what YOUR driver told me. Not to mention that there is a UPS truck across the street right now, and I have seen the SEARS truck in the neighborhood today."

To that he had no response. SO we set up the delivery for 2 days later that Saturday.
     Saturday Morning I get up at 8 am and shower, because they did not call with a time slot for delivery we end up canceling plans with friends to wait on the table. By 4 pm I still haven't heard anything so I call the customer service line where I find out our time frame is from 4:30-6:30 and that we are the LAST delivery for the day. Ugh I could have slept in till 10 with Grace!! At 4:45 we get a call from the same costumer service rep. as before. He tells me that we have to reschedule again because the base only accepts morning deliveries on Saturday. ONCE AGAIN BULL CRAP!! So I send Steve up to the gate to figure out what happened. Basically they went to the wrong gate. They were told that at that gate they can only do truck inspections from 9am-1pm due to manning issues, but that they can go to the west gate and get in 24/7. Apparently the delivery guys just went home because the west gate guards said they never saw them. I try to call the service number but they close at 5. As I am sure you can guess it is ON monday morning.
    Monday morning rolls around and I get up at 7 to call them first thing. I get a lady and explain everything to her. I am sure I was not as sweet as I could have been but I am kinda upset at this point. She basically tells me that she's sorry, but there is nothing she can do for me other put a message in for a manger to call me and reschedule. Ok fine when can you have my table here. She says "We have Thursday or Saturday." I said Thursday. So Thursday comes no call again with a time frame so I get up at 8, get ready, and wait, wait, wait. By noon I have had enough I call up to find out when our time frame is I am told "Ma'ma your delivery date is Thursday May 17th." LIKE HELL IT IS! At this point I politely lose it. I demand to talk to a manager RIGHT THEN because they still haven't called me from 4 days ago.  I am transferred and at first I am fairly nice I explain everything that has happened for the umpteenth time and wait. She basically tells me she is so sorry, but because I live on a military base I need to be prepared for issues to come up. EXCUSE ME!!! So I ask "So basically your saying that Macy's policy is that if I live on a military I should EXPECT SUCKY SERVICE, especially because the issues is with your DELIVERY PEOPLE NOT MY BASE!" I then tell her that I have had enough. I am writing a letter to the Base Papers of all FIVE military bases here and letting them know just what kind of service Macy's provides their armed forces. AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID???? "I am sorry you feel that way." So at this point I just hang up because I just about lost my religion on that woman. I call Steve at work and tell him what happened and he says he'll handle it.
       About 20 minutes later Steve calls me and tells me he talked with his Sqd. Commander who gave him the idea to call the local store. THe problem is we are dealing with corporate and they could care less if they lose our business because we are just a tiny dot to them, but the only store here is going to care. SO  Steve calls and talks to the manager there. She is extremely upset by how we have been treated and tell us that she's going to make some calls and she'll call us back. Within the hour we hear back from that not only are they going to bring on table the following week, but that they are refunding the delivery fee and sending us a $100.00 gift card. Ok Great at least that's something for our trouble. So I get an email that our table is going to be delivered May 10th between the hours of 1-3 pm.
       This thursday comes and I get to sleep in with Grace till 10. I get up get dressed and wait. At 12:35 I get a call that they are on their way. Great! I call Steve and he comes home from work. At 1:15 I get a call. The driver can not get on base because he has a misdemeanor on his record and is pending trail. FANTASTIC!!! I tell Steve and he says "Can the other guy get on base?? I'll unload the DAMN TRUCK myself if it gets the table here." So that's what we did. The one guy who doesn't speak a lick of English brings the truck and Steve and him unload the 117 lbs table, the 234.3 lbs sideboard, and THREE that's right I said THREE chairs. Umm??? Steve tries to tell the guy that we are missing 3 more chairs and the guy just laughs and says in broken english, NO table to heavy for me just pop the legs on it all good. hops in the truck and LEAVES! You have got to be kidding me. So Steve who rarely loses his temper is now pacing the house. He calls Kelly the manager of the local store and leaves her message and heads back to work. Later he comes to tell me that Kelly has called him back and she is even more upset then we are. SHe told us not the touch the boxes at all. Someone will be out to put our table together and bring our other 3 chairs, but that she has had enough as well and she is taking it as far up the chain as possible. SO now we are waiting with 3 chairs and two giant boxes in our dining room. At this point anything short of a full refund just won't satisfy me at all. I appreciate Kelly's help, but this company needs to get their crap together. Next week will be 3 months from when we ordered our table and we still won't have it! I am calling this GREAT MACY"S FAIL of 2012!

Letting Go

     When my doctor first used the term "Vagina Envy" I was sure I had misheard her. I guess my shock from hearing the words read like a book across my face, because she started to laugh. She said that although the term is her own, the issue is very real. It is a form of postpartum depression that only a handful of women whose only option was an emergency C-section suffer from. It's extremely hard to explain to anyone who has not experienced it. My doctor said that she knew I was a prime candidate not only because  during the 4 months that she was my doctor I made it clear that unless Grace's life was in danger I was not open to having a C-section, but also because I was planning a natural child birth.  It has been especially hard the past 5 months because I have had about 15 friends have babies recently only one of those was a c-section and it was planned due to her first child being born via C-section. It's hard to hear their birth stories because there is so much that I feel I was cheated out of. Please don't get me wrong, Grace is the most wonderful and awesome blessing I could ever have asked for, but I as said unless you have been here there is no way for you understand.
      When I am told how amazing it was when the doctor placed their little miracle on their chest I am jealous, because I did not/will not ever have that. I was not the first, second, or even third person to hold Grace. In fact she was not placed in my arms until 45 minutes after she was born. Even then because I was extremely drugged I could barely keep my eyes open and I was not able to hold her without supervision because I was trembling so bad. When I was finally moved to the postpartum ward I was told that I could not be alone with Grace until it was okayed by my doctors. So that night when Steve had to drive my mom home I was separated from her for nearly 2 hours until She needed to be fed and a nurse had to sit in the room with us. After she was done she was once again taken to the nursery until Steve finally made it back. (No he was not taking his time either it killed him being away from her as well the hospital is just that far with traffic and the snow on the ground.) It's hard knowing that my next child birth will more then likely be just same, only I will know going in that a C-section is pretty much my only option. The hardest part of all it though is feeling like I am broken. Anyone who has known me for the past 10 years knows the issues I have had.  This pregnancy was extremely normal and I was finally feeling like a woman again, but its amazing how quickly that was taken away.
      It didn't occur in the hospital the only that was going though my mind that morning was getting Grace into this world healthy. The day we were discharged from the hospital the nurse (Roberta) who was there when was Grace was born came in to say goodbye. While we were talking she admitted that she was holding her breath until she heard Grace's screams. Her heart rate had been dangerously low for longer than they were comfortable with and they were not sure what they were about to encounter. I do not take for granted Grace's health. The fact that I can hold my beautiful girl in my arms today is nothing short of a miracle. I definitely never expected to feel depressed over not having a normal labor. As I said before unless you have been here it's not something you could understand. My doctor assures me that my feelings are quite common for someone in my shoes, and that I have nothing to be ashamed of. In fact she suggested sharing my feelings with others, she said I would be surprised to find that I am not alone. The truth is that until today I was ashamed, I felt guilty for feeling the way I do. I thought that I should be happy no matter what kind of birth story I had at least I had one right? In fact Steve wasn't even aware of my feelings until recently, but I have woken up to the fact that I am not alone. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I am allowed to be upset about missing out on the most natural thing for a woman's body to do give birth. It's ok to be jealous of an experience I will never have, as long as I don't harp on it. So that's what I am doing. I am getting my feelings out there and I am letting go!

  Now, I am going to go in the other room and stare down at my Gracie Bell and bask in the blessing that she is in my life.

For all my girls!!!

“An Airman’s Wife” I’m married to my hero, I live a life some can not bare. His job is not done safely on the ground, But high up in the air. I spend many nights alone, Awake for hours at a time. Longing for that man I love, The one who‘s again left me behind. I share him with this country, To which he swore he’d be true. And though I admire his integrity, Sometimes I don’t want to see it through. He’s promised to protect them, Those who weren’t born free. And when I explain it to our son, “Sometimes that’s without you and me…” And I know how much he’s missing him, Because we feel the same… We miss our hero, and our daddy… We hate this silly game. Our days are never promised, And it seems so unfair… But this is the life we’ve chosen, To leave it now, we wouldn’t dare. The day’s always drag, Time never seems to fly! But people enjoy their freedom, Because our daddy protects the skies! We fly the stars and stripes, And our yellow ribbon’s too! We’re proud of where we come from! We love, the Red, White, and Blue! We’ll support what he stands for… Liberty, Freedom, and Life Because I’ve taken a vow that I’ll never let down, To be my Airman’s wife… Unfortunatly it didn't have the authors name but I thought I'd share it anyways!!

Mother of the Year

       I know it won't be my last, but tonight I had my first Mother of the Year moment. When Steve got home from today we ran over to the BX to get a couple of things came home and cooked dinner. Shortly after dinner I was playing with Gracie when I noticed she had little red bumps on her neck. After further inspection I found that this rash covered her entire back and stomach. I call the after hours line at the clinic just be on the safe side. The pediatrician on called wanted me to take her in to the ER to be on the safe side, because I couldn't think of anything that's changed in her routine/diet or any body who has been sick recently. Since it was only 6:30 and I know how quickly Ft. Carson's ER fills up after 8 I was kinda rushing Steve to get there. 
       I run upstairs throw on jeans and my sneakers, race back down stairs and start going though the diaper bag. I grab about 6 diapers because who knows how long we will be there. Fill 3 bottles with nursery water and fill her formula on the go cup. I throw the diapers, wipes, and bottles into the bag. Get Gracie in her carseat and we head out the door. The waiting room is pretty much empty when we get there but we still wait about 20 mins till we go in for vitals and are sent back in the waiting room til we are called. As we are sitting there Grace beings her I am starting to get hungary fuss. So I ask to Steve to make a bottle and then it hits me. I put everything but the FORMULA in the diaper bag!!! OMG!!! I literally almost start crying. How could I be so absent minded!!! So I kinda freak out telling Steve he has to go to the PX or shopettee ANYPLACE that might have baby stuff. So of course as soon as he leaves we get called back. Thank God Grace is easily distracted because she cared more about all the stuff in the room then her getting her hunger fix. Thank God Steve finally showed up with formula right as Grace started to realize that she was still hungry about the same time they were discharging us. 
        So, thankfully my first DUMB moment wasn't all that bad and we were able to fix it before Gracie-Bell had a melt down, but as I said before I know this won't be my last I CAN"T BELIEVE I DID THAT MOMENT. 


P.S. Grace is fine. They aren't sure what broke her out either, but we are watching it for now. I'll see if it's gone away in the morning if not I'll be calling the doctor again.