When well intentioned crosses into offensive.

Tonight Steve and I had to make a Target run after eating dinner with some friends. Due to the wind Steve dropped Grace and me off at the door. I went in and got Graces carseat situated on top a shopping cart. Mind you this is something I NEVER do while shopping with her alone. I am too afraid of her falling off when my head is turned, but since Steve was with us I knew one of us would be with her at all times. As I was looking up something on my phone (my hand still holding on to the carseat) a lady about mid thirties walks up and asked if she can be nosy. I give her what I sure was a WTH look and she took that as a yes. She begins by asking what kind of carseat that island then tell me my Chicco isnt very safe. I know it's not top brand but I love it! She then proceeds with her lecture about how resting the carseat on the seat portion of the cart is completely unsafe and that I should have it in the basket. At this point she tells me the tragic story of her friend who lost a child just last week from her sons carseat falling off the cart while she was getting something off the shelf. I don't say anything at this point because I feel like she's is just trying to be helpful. I tell her how truly sorry I am for her friends lost and thank you for the advice. This is where she crosses the line. Apparently she mistook my politeness for a cry for help. She reachs out and picks up Grace 's baby blanket and tells me that I have her strapped in wrong. I am sorry lady but you just went from well intentioned to offensive! I snatch the baby blanket back from her place it into the cart because god only knows where her hands have been. She then reaches for Grace's cheek saying "you'd just feel so guilty if anything happened to this sweet thing." ok now she has crossed a whole different line. Not only did you insult my parenting but now you are touching my child!!!! Thank God Steve walked up and I just stared walking. If I had stayed for even another second I probably would have caused a scene. I can't tell Gyou the number of times I have seen parents do things that I do not agree with but I would definitely not tell the

That. It's their child they can raise them the way they see fit! Grace is safe, happy, and healthy to me that's all that matters.

The Mommy Time Out

The first couple of months of Grace's life I had this feeling that I had to be with her 24/7. I felt as if NO ONE could possibly take care of her right and that if I wanted things done right with her doing it myself was the only way. I have since then learned that all I am accomplishing is running myself into the ground and making my time with Grace much more stressful. I have also learned that believe it or not her daddy is not only perfectly capable of taking care of her, but he's pretty damn good at it. SO I have learned the art of the MOMMY TIME OUT. Even if it is just me sitting quietly in our room with the door shut and a good book in hand. The art of the mommy time out being helpful is NOT to do anything house related either. It is totally me time!! The first couple of mommy time outs I spent it folding clothes, doing dishes, or cleaning house. I quickly learned though that when I was done I didn't feel like I had gotten a break at all. So finally I got the hint it's not really me time if I don't take it to take care of me. In the short couple of weeks I have been doing mommy time outs I have found that I not only have more energy though out the day, but I enjoy my time with Grace that much more. Something I didn't think was possible.

Nature's Cure All

So for the past 48 hours I have been battling one of the worse cases of diaper rash I have seen in the past 15 years I have been around babies/toddlers. Pretty much since we brought Grace home she has had a slight diaper rash from her extremely sensitive skin (she is her father's child), but recently this was made worse be two things. The first was that until last week I was eating dairy which apparently Grace is sensitive too as well (like her daddy) so the process of getting that out of her system consisted of lots of poops which means lots of diaper changes. Which brings me to the second reason, because I was going though like 20 diapers a day I switched to the cheaper version of pampers (baby dry) well it turns out Grace's butt doesn't like those either. So, last night her booty was BRIGHT red and in some spots actually bleeding from how raw she was. I tried EVERYTHING to find her some relief but nothing helped. Every time she went to the bathroom she screamed bloody murder which just broke me heart. Finally after soaking in a warm bath (we didn't have any baking soda or oatmeal bath at 10 pm) she stopped crying. So I started some internet research just to see if there was anything I do to help her get though the night. I found some CRAZY things that I just wouldn't try if you paid but I also found something very interesting that I figured hell it's worth a shot and it can't hurt her anymore then she already is.

What I found was an article written by a midwife about serve diaper rash treatments and guess what it said? BREAST MILK...yes, I said BREAST MILK not only takes the sting out of the rash but helps heal it. So as I said I figured why not? I pumped a little into a bottle and patted it on her little butt then let her air dry for about 20 mins. Sure enough when I put some Aquaphor on she didn't even stir. So last night was spent getting up to change her diaper every 2 hours (so she didn't sit in a dirty one too long) patting BM on her butt and covering it in Petroleum Jelly. This morning after another soak in a warm bath and some more BM coating I was able to put Burt's Bee Baby Bee diaper cream on her which is my personal favorite because of it's staying power. Then by this afternoon I was able to put her Rx cream from the doctor on without it burning her. It is now 930 at night and I just soaked her in an oatmeal and baking soda bath and I am happy to say that her butt is now just a slight shade of pink with a few red spots and she no longer cries when she goes potty.

So WHO KNEW?? Breast milk...really!

One Month!!

It is incredibly hard for me to believe that my little angel is a month old. These past 31 days have flown by. However, it has not been without it's lessons. So here we go...Things I have learned in my first month as a parent.

#1. Despite what you feel you will not die from sleep deprivation.

#2. I don't give a rats tail what anyone says Breastfeeding is NOT easy. It is a skill that both you and your child must learn together.

#3. Newborn farts are LOUD!!!

#4. Shower when she's napping. Who cares what else needs to be done if she goes down for a nap you hop in that shower!

#5. When your husband goes out of town (or in this case country) SOMETHING will go wrong or SOMEONE will get sick.

#6. SLEEP when she does. Housework can be done later or not at all.

#7. Colic SUCKS

#8. You can NEVER and I mean NEVER have a enough wipes or diapers.

#9. Your baby's cry will break your heart...every time.

#10. There is no greater love then a parent's love for their child. In my book Grace can do NO wrong....FOR NOW.

Counting Blessing

In previous blogs I have mentioned that Colorado was not our number one choice out of UPT. In fact it wasn't even in our top ten. Not because we had anything against the location or the plane. Steve was not very familiar with the C-21 and he had his eye on another plane. Since we have gotten here though we realized that God knew better then we did. This assignment has been a blessing. We could not have asked for a better location or a better squadron to be a part of. The people are so sweet and have truly been amazing since Grace was born. On Sunday the ladies of the 311th threw Grace and me a beautiful baby shower. Something that I know no squadron my father was apart of did for my mom with any of her four pregnancys. Since my mother left they have also brought us some meals which are a great blessing. After being up with Grace every 2-3 hours at night and most of the day by 5 o'clock I am exhausted. Some days I think about cooking and I just can't wrap my mind around even heating the oven. Not to mention that I eat off the left overs for days. So as I said they have been a true blessing. I have learnt from this assignment that there is a reason God sends you where he does in the Air Force and that no matter how unexpected the assignment might be you must keep your mind open because it could be the best assignment yet.

Two Weeks Already???

Yesterday our little princess Grace turned 2 weeks old . I can not believe how quickly the time has flown by, but at the same time I barely remember life without her. We had her well baby yesterday and I can not tell you how relieved I was when our pediatrician said she looked prefect. At her 5 day well the nurse made me feel like the worse mother in the world for having to use a shield to get Grace to latch right even though the lactation consultant gave it to me and said that it was fine. Then she scared the crap out of me telling me that her dimple on her butt looked deep which could indicate a spinal defect! However yesterday Dr. Brice said that she not only thought Grace was doing just fine but that she is way more developed then what is to be expected in a two week. Take that mean old nurse at Ft. Carson!!! To update y'all on how she is doing other just great she weighed 7lbs 6 oz yesterday. Which is well over her birthweight and over a pound more then her discharge weight. (Guess using a shield the first couple weeks isn't bad after all!) We don't know if she grew any because according to their Scale she lost an inch in height but Steve and I noticed that their measuring thing was swinging back because it was missing a screw. I am just glad she has gained weight because as I said the nurse told me that using a shield could prevent her from gaining properly. So there you have it our little girl is doing just fine and I could not be happier! However I wouldn't mind if time slowed down a little she's only this small once!!

And then it hit me.

Somewhere between 3 and 4 am I found myself sitting Chris-cross applesauce on my bed with my crying 7 day old in my arms. We had been up for almost 6 hours straight trying to find her some relief from the gas that she just couldn't seem to pass. With every whimper my heart broke a little more. I didn't care that I had soaked though my nursing pads, bra, and tank top or that I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep the past three nights. I could careless that my c-section incision was screaming from walking/rocking her around for hours. I only cared that she was hurting and I could not do anything to help. When she finally passed out from pure exhaustion I sat there holding her and I couldn't bring myself to put her down. So I stayed there almost an hour just watching her sleep. It was in this quite moment that it hit me I am a mom. It was just a few years ago we were told that I might never be able to have children and there in my arms laid a prefect healthy baby girl. My days are now full of feedings and dirty diapers. I care way more about the consistency of poo then weather my hair or make up is done. I have traded jeans and cute tops for sweatpants and nursing tanks and sleeping in for sleep deprivation. I am living the dream sore boobs and all!!!