Dear John

So today I watched Dear John on Netflix, and there is just something about this book/movie that aggravates the hell out of me. After 9/11 in the story (really even before that) Savannah acts as if dating a man in the military is a death sentence to the relationship. When John decides to extend his tour with his unit after 9/11 she gets angry with him. I can only image the hurt and disappointment of thinking the one you love will soon be about to be with you and having that ripped away but do be angry at him doing the only thing he's ever known?? She met him in the Army she knew this was his life. Then after only two months of him being deployed she writes him to tell him she has fallen in love with someone else and that it's over between them? Are you crazy girl?

I know it takes an extremely strong person to be with someone in the military. Never knowing exactly where your other half is or what they are doing? Or worse not knowing if their coming home at all. This was something I understood growing up an Air Force Brat myself, but it was not until I married an Airmen did it truly hit home. I love my father he is an amazing man. My siblings and I were blessed to have our parents. When he deployed growing up it was sad and I missed him like crazy, but us kids, we were alright. Now when I think about Steve going ( and I do mean think...I have been lucky enough to have never had to be without him for more then 6 weeks at a time.) it's a whole different story! When we were separated our first month of marriage a part of me shut down. I went though day to day life going though the motions but I never really felt myself. Even when I went back home and was around family I still didn't feel whole, something was missing. I guess that's the point though....I always stories of the Home-front keeping it together while the boys are away. I understand it now. You hold it together because life goes on weather your partner is there or not. That's the kind of person you have to be to marry military. You have to be able to make it on your own, even when your not whole. That's what this life takes. As the poem says I am in the Silent Ranks

The Silent Ranks

I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens,
But I am in the military in the ranks rarely seen.
I have no rank upon my shoulders.
Salutes I do not give.
But the military world is the place where I live.

I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get.
But my husband is the one that does,
this I cannot forget.
I'm not the one who fires the weapon,
who puts my life on the line.
But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind.

My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man
and the call to serve his country, not all can understand.
Behind the lines I see the things needed
to keep this country free.
My husband makes this sacrifice,
but so do our kids and me.

I love the man I married. Soldiering is his life.
But I stand among the silent ranks
Known as the military wife.